Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me has never spent over two hours being scathingly scolded by Ms Betty. Before it was over I would have gladly traded an hour with the rod for the tounge lashing she gave me.
It started off as a harmless exchange of lines from one of our favorites the late Warren Zevon, and before I knew it this "Excitable Boy" was in serious trouble. I said something about wishing she had shared some information with me, and just like that the pleasnt exchange was over.
"I was trying." She said. "You weren't that interested in listening."
The voice had become ice. Sharp. very focused. A lasar beam that began to cut with surgical percision. What had I been told? What had been expected of me. How miserably I had failed. Why could I not just listen? She pointed out how I failed, but what really hurt was she didn't settle for just lecturing me. No. I had to participate in the disection.
There were lots of questions. I had to give the right answer, not just an answer. I had to repeat key points.over, and over. This is where i bagan to cry. How can a compliment hurt so much?
"I know you are better than this."
Oh that's how. She began to really scold now.
"Tell me you are going to do better."
"Again."
"One more time. Tell me ."
"I am going to severly punnish you, and will do it again If you waiver."
I had to repeat why my failure was so damaging to people in my life. Three times I had to rub my own nose in how important better performance was. And told it was expected. At this point I made the mistake of interupting her to try to explain why I had acted the way I had.
"LET ME FINNISH!!"
"Until I tell you otherwise you are only to give me direct answers to my questions.You are not to speak otherwise,Do you understand?"
Oh God! I won't make that mistake again.(ok I will, but it will be a loooonngg time.) She scolded. I listened. She asked questions. I gave very brief answers. I was openly crying by this time. I just wanted it to be over. I was miserable. It was far from over.
No comments:
Post a Comment