Saving The Seventh Grade From Comunism

Originally posted on Yahoo 360 on Tuesday September 4, 2007 - 11:34pm (CDT)

I don't know what it had to do with math, but Mrs Brown was always talking about the red menace. This was 1966. President Kennedy had stared down the Russians, and made them take their missles out of cuba. We were eyeball to eyeball with each other in Europe, and Korea. Vietnam was starting to be a real shooting war. Everybody knew if you wanted to get Mrs. Brown's mind off of math just start talking about the Russians . I didn't give two hoots about the Russians, or math. But I got pretty good at disracting mrs. brown with my knowledge of current events. When she caught on to what i was doing I wasn't her favorite student either.

Outside her windows leaves were falling like rain, thousands of them from the dense line of trees behind the school.The sky was crisp,and blue. When she called on me to solve whattever problem was on the green chalkboard i didn't answer. I was deep inside the secret THRUSH base Resquing Napoleon Solo,again.

Nobody liked me nobody warned me. the first inkling i had that I'd been busted was when she snatched my MAN FROM UNCLE book from me,and read the title out loud to the class.

"THE DIVING DAMES AFFAIR?" "Are you The Man fromUNCLE Terry?"

No I'm the yankee boy getting laughed at again. My favorite pass time. You would think I'd be used to it. But you never get used to being laughed at by your peers when your 13 years old.

Mrs. Brown walked back to her desk with me in tow, and opened the drawer to her desk. In went my book out came that big mean paddle, with the knotch missing from the tip. The same one Mrs. Roberson had used on me the week before. I was blushing furiously . I could'nt look at my smirking classmates i stared at the floor. My eyes stung with tears of shame.

Lucky for me Mrs Brown was one of those teachers who believed that a spanking was a private thing. I was led out into the desertted hallway, and as I was being scolded about paying attension in class another teacher was being summoned by a classmate to be a witness. Wonderfull! It was Mrs. Roberson Looking at me with that look that said."insect." I stood eyes stinging with tears as they discussed my short comings, and lack of a future , and then it was time. I was told to hand my wallet to mrs Roberson, and grab my ankles.

SMACK! the intensity of that sting was incredible!SMACK! "oh!" i couldn't help it.SMACK! " OOH!" God it hurt! SMACK!SMACK!! " Oh!" SMACK! "Ooh please!" I didn't care anymore. i was crying. It burned ! SMACK!

I was told to stand , and given my wallet. I stood rubbing,and sniviling, and was lectured once again about paying attension. Now came the fun part. Now I got to walk back into a room full of enemies who had just heard me spanked to tears! My ears were hot I was blushing so much. I tried not to see their smirks or hear the scorn. I heard,and saw it all. The rest of the hour was an eternity.

The world safe from comunism ,the bell finally rang. Everyone filed out looking over their shoulders at me as I hung back at her desk. The drawer opened. The paddle went in, and my book came out. Mrs Brown handed me my book telling me the next one she caught me with was hers. I made it a point to bring library books to her class from then on.